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NGChernyshevsky

By the time I was 15 I learned I couldn't trust anybody. There wasn't anything I could say or do that wouldn't be made fun of or cause me to receive a beating. I could not be myself. Not only could I not be myself, but I had no way to express any of my emotions. I was simply not allowed to be human. I mean, I still tried, but was only ever punished.

For me, emotional expression was limited to listening to Dead Bodies Everywhere, Got The Life, Here To Stay, The Outsider, or any other song to which I felt such a connection. I know everyone else can relate to this. This was all I had. If I didn't behave, then I would be sent to a psych ward because non-compliance meant something was wrong with me.