What do you call someone who steals noodles from the rich and gives them to the poor?

Ramen Hood. 🤣

Hugh Laurie just got his American citizenship!

He now goes by "Hugh Truck". 🤣

Employer: "Please explain these gaps in your resume."

Me: "They're from the space bar and Enter key.“ 🤣

Why was the computer drunk?

Because it took too many screenshots. 🤣

My dog’s name is Minton. Today he ate my shuttlecock.

Bad Minton! 🤣

I asked my janitor if I could borrow his floor polisher to do something about my dingy linoleum floor.

He said he couldn't remember where he left it.

"That's okay", I said, "as a programmer, this isn't the first time I've suffered a buffer allocation failure due to a memory error." 🤣

My wife saw me standing on the scale, sucking in my stomach, she laughed, “That’s not going to help!” I said, “Sure, it does.”

“It’s the only way I can see the numbers.” 🤣

Who does Captain Crunch report to?

General Mills. 🤣

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