Walking around Lenin's palace which contained paintings and works of art from all over Europe, a lady asked:-
Q: 'What does that green sign ('выход') mean ? I have seen it in every room'.
A: 'Oh that - it just means 'Exit' in Russian'.
I loved this American girl on the Russian holiday.
'You may laugh but I am obsessed by 'The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills' and The Real Housewives of New York'.
She was amazed and delighted that we have a UK equivalent ('Cheshire').
She was also obsessed by Megan Markhel and seemed very disappointed Harry had married here when she was young, free, single and available.
She also asked - 'Have you ever met him ?' . Which was nice.
All we could offer was that we watched 'Judge Judy'.
Another favourite moment was when we initially checked in to Hotel Alfa.
The member of staff silently took our passports to complete the mandatory 'registration of a foreign national' process.
No 'Welcome to Moscow', no 'Breakfast is served...', nothing.
10 mins later, he returned the passports with a room key.
My wife's standard enquiry of 'Do you have a City Map ?' was met with a blunt 'No'.
The nest day, we found them in a rack full of useful tourist info adjacent to the ATM in the lobby
After visiting the Kremlin armoury, for some unknown reason, one couple went wandering off on their own.
Again, we stood around and waited 20 mins and when they were eventually located, taking photos of the chapels in the main square (1/2 mile from the rendezvous point), some frustrated Brits sarcastically applauded them.
The gentleman never looked embarrassed, never apologised. He just strolled up and returned the 'applause'. Which was slightly weird.
Ah fuck it. I'm not blogging it as it doesn't seem as important or funny anymore.
Our Russia trip was a semi-guided tour with 39 people.
Most were lovely but 4 selfish people tried their best to spoil it for everyone else.
They would constantly arrive late for agreed rendezvous - even in the hotel lobby at 09:30.
One chap screamed he was 'DISABLED' and then 'I AM BLIND' and demanded he went first and we trailed behind him.
He was neither. He walked with a cane and occasionally a wheelchair.
Apologies to the 856 new followers I acquired for my week as a travel micro photo blogger. I only go on holiday once a year and now normal service will be resumed.
The byte stream will revert to the standard inane drivel about UK football and political psycho babble, recycled quotes from The Fall and The National together with memories of Alan Partridge sketches.
The missus contrived to drop and break her decent Sony camera on minute 1, day 1 of the holiday. Later her iPhone wasn't charged overnight do she borrowed my S7.
In less than 8 hours she managed to move (or remove) most of my Home screen apps. Also she contrived to remove the Google now cards feed from my left hand screen.
A non-trivial task that would require most advanced Android wizards to consult Google but no she somehow managed it simply by careless use of her fingers. Unbelievable.
Marvelous meal at this Georgian restaurant. Beer, cider, vodka and the wife enjoyed her food too :-)
Drug crazed zombie caked in flour.
"I appreciate SDF but it's a general-purpose server and the name doesn't make it obvious that it's about art." - Eugen Rochko