Andy C @andyc@mastodon.sdf.org

Researching John Stones on MUFC forums

'He’s basically the opposite of Chris Smalling. Can play football but can’t defend ' 🙂

John Stones - would he be a useful acquisition or he is as weak as Lindelhof (and more injury prone) ? Not that Citeh would sell to us but still...

If this happens outside a pub on a Friday night, it's assault. On a non-league football pitch, it's fine.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/54220555

Chris Whitty presented a slide yesterday showing an exponential curve rising to 50,000 cases a day by mid-October.

He said:- 'This is not a projection. This is not a forecast'.

And yet, that's precisely what it was. It was a projection based on the infection rate doubling every 7 days. Weird.

Still, look on the bright side. Blow job tonight - definitely.

'I can't access the Daily Mail online. Fix it'.

'I can't drive to work with a flat tyre. Get me an Uber'.

'Get my tyre fixed today'

'I'll call you when I need picking up'

I guess Jose got bored of Dele's scintillating conversation about whether you wet the toothbrush before or after applying the toothpaste. Or his favourite chocolate bars.

You know those work association games you play with a psychologist when you're feeling glum or a serial killer.

'Lindelhof'.

'Weak'

Watching the scientists. After all, we 'continue to be led by the scientific advice'.

Christ - it's not Groundhog Day, it's Groundhog Month or Groundhog Year.

Apologies. My last post should have read:-

Monday morning.
Driver's side tyre down.
Interweb down.

Woke up. Wife's car had a flat tyre. Packed her off in an Uber. Got it fixed. Got home. Internet down.

Watching Hooky cover ceremony. Love how he has a guitarist and two bassists.

Hook Norton Festival of Fine Ales was held at a mates house this year . A nosy neighbour politely enquired 'Excuse me but do I see 9 people drinking real ale in your garden?'

Ferguson sitting in the directors box 4m away from a masked Ed Woodward, lowers his mask to take a sip of coffee (or whisky)

K's losing 5-1 at cray!

...whereas in Israel, a colleague tell me that lockdown means

1) no further than 500m from your home
2) closing the education system
3) closing private and public sector activity
4) mass prayers will be limited to outdoors
5) Closing restaurants (excluding delivery service), leisure and entertainment, business and commerce and domestic tourism.

Thiago Alcantara has been linked with United for so long I thought he was 39 years old. He's actually 29. Good buy for Scousers.

Lucifer over Lancashire - but Blackpool is exempt. Obviously. Kiss me quick !