"Monkeys were already in town. They were scurrying along the eaves, hanging from lampposts in clusters, dancing in creepy, shaggy crowds at intersections, clinging to windows, hurling boulders uprooted from the sidewalk, chasing mad people who had jumped out into the street in their underwear.

Now imagine that countless herds of baboons appear in the city you are in charge of. You don't have the guts to expel them. You can't feed them centrally either - you don't have enough food or reserves.

Baboons are begging in the streets - a blatant disorder: we don't have and can't have beggars! Baboons shit, they don't clean up after themselves, and no one is going to clean up after them. What conclusions can we draw from this?

That's right! The first business conclusion to be drawn is to conceal the existence of the baboons. To pretend that they don't exist at all.


But that, unfortunately, is also impossible. There are too many of them, and our government is still so disgustingly democratic. And here comes a brilliant idea, brilliant in its simplicity: to regulate the presence of baboons! To legitimize the chaos, the outrage, and thus make it an element of the order inherent in the government of our good mayor! Instead of beggarly and bullying herds and gangs, nice pets. We all love animals! Queen Victoria loved animals. Darwin loved animals.

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