so seriously hear me out

taquitos, right? but use a ziti instead

I have this idea for a pop-up pizza restaurant in Q4 

MARKO RAMIUS, CEO

The Hut For Red October

re: how have none of you realized the first act they would perform 

@sydneyfalk @poiseunderchaos @garbados

careful now, shrekless endangerment is a thing

how have none of you realized the first act they would perform 

@sydneyfalk @poiseunderchaos @garbados

DONKEH GET OUT MA SWAMP

cursed food 

Have leftover tomato paste?

Wrap it in wax paper, twist at the ends like taffy, put in zipper bag and freeze.

Then beat the heat with a tasty tomato treat!

While you're on lockdown, why not also lockdown your Linux laptop with safeboot? It adds UEFI SecureBoot + Yubikey hardware platform keys + Signed kernel/initrd + TPM sealed disk encryption + SIP-like root filesystem protection to Ubuntu 20.04. safeboot.dev/

@sydneyfalk

when an eel bites your thigh
and the pain makes you cry
that's a moray

the uh,

technical term for what you've got there is

fucked

Which is worse?

shitpots 

( technically this was a shitpost but shitting in a pot is worse than this post so i just left it )

Show thread

shitpots 

The year is 20XX. IMDB has invented technology which lets them scan your brain for what you've been watching so they can show you a headshot of the performers as they appeared in that show

bread is just wrought flour forged in an oven

ergo

the baker is the blacksmith's friend

sea creatures will often greet each other socially through sounds; for instance, whelks will call out to approaching friendly whelks with a... (WORST PUN EVER, I'M SO SORRY YALL) 

@sydneyfalk

oh

god

DAMMIT

unfoods 

@sydneyfalk

forty two intervals would work. just make sure you let the roast rest for five to seven intervals afterwords before you cut it so the juices can stay in the tender flesh.

unfoods 

the quarantine has forced people to be creative. for example, if you take

rotary lemons (regular won't work)
and zest them with some spices (i recommend the six-way trinity)
and then season a borlat roast

350 degrees (in the old measurement) or setting four on your Hattori-Brown Cooks-All, for 43 intervals per kilo.

Serve with sojon gravy, garnish with spearbeans. Accompany with your favorite starch or vegetable.

I have noticed an increase in birds now that everyone is inside. It makes me feel like I should own a pair of binoculars again so I can see them up close.

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