Did you just lose 100m customer SSNs because your root password was "password", you set an S3 bucket to public or you didn't patch a well known vulnerability for 8 months? Worry not! Our free excuse generator will help you develop an air-tight breach statement in no time!

"The fucking advanced persistent threats used weaknesses in our vendors to make a mess.
But we have since watched the movie 8 times back to back, so it will never happen again."

@cosullivan Fun to refresh. Like the shakespearean insult generator. Never gets old :-)

@cosullivan: "But we have since upskilled our cafeteria staff, so it will never happen again." 😂😂 Ahhh fun.

@cosullivan 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

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