In the APEX community, there's a saying for a Forms -> APEX migration that blindly, universally and 100% completely implements the existing legacy Forms application. Some customers prefer it that way even though it may take a lot more time to engineer.
APEX folk sometimes call this 'Forms with lipstick'.
I am going to start using 'Forms with eyeliner' in tribute to Michael Stipe and R.E.M.
Fixing the Dash to Dock Gnome extension for 3.36
Customer proudly giving me walk-through of his APEX application prior to us moving it to Oracle Cloud.
'And what about performance ?'
'Nope. No performance issues whatsoever'.
'OK good. Any performance requirements ? Customer search < 2 seconds or Q4 Financials < 5 mins. Anything like that ?'
'Nope. Anything that takes over 2 mins is a batch job and we email the PDF to the user'.
Start digging into the batch reports and they're all shit untuned crappy, long running, unindexed SQL queries.
Non league season declared null and void
I'm reminded of being back at school, sitting in a dreary classroom.
'Right - well if that's the way you want to play it, then fine. I've got nothing else today on so I suggest that we all just sit here waiting for the one, selfish, irresponsible person to own up to gouging bubblegum into Smithers' hair or for a full hour. Whichever comes first. Your choice'.
Just been for our daily walk.
Walked past a mother and child approaching a gated house.
Kiddie was about 8 years old, dressed in a silvery Princess dress, clutching a card and present.
My wife and I silently looked at each other thinking 'No, surely not ?'
The mother and child approach gate. We thought (hoped) they might just be dropping the present off but no, the front door opens, a woman effusively greets the pair and the security gates open.
Jocasta's birthday party is on folks !
Cycling to be suspended in Richmond Park
'Hi - I need some advice. I'm self employed with my own limited company. My accountant told me ('never my fault') to take a low salary and also receive dividends. But now I'm staggered to find out I'm excluded from this Government assistance. Who is going to help me out ?'
'No-one. You have been reducing (legally) your tax and NI liability for years. Now is the time to dip into your accumulated savings during this time of reduced income. If you have none, then tough shit'.
MES - 'There’s always some cunt who wants to ask me about a masterpiece I made in 1982'.
Drug crazed zombie caked in flour.
"I appreciate SDF but it's a general-purpose server and the name doesn't make it obvious that it's about art." - Eugen Rochko