Went for my suit fitting with my future son-in-law Saturday:

Ass: "What waist are you?"
Me: (Crap! Bugger! Help!) "Umm? 38" but I've got stupid hips, honestly."

The Barsteward handed me a pair of 26" trousers as I attempted to squeeze into them I let out a strangled plea:

Me: "These are too small mate!"
Ass: "Oh, have I given you the wrong ones?"

He had! He then looked at me:

Ass: What size chest? You look like a 44" to me?"
Me: "I hate you you with a vengeance!"


@dick_turpin I sincerely hope he measured your inside leg using social distancing. 'On which side do you dress, Sir ? Oooh - suits you, Sir, Ooh'.

@andyc Oh there was a funny incident. A guy there who served us the first time we went, I took an instant dislike to him.

So the SIL and I were stood, I accept, over the designated line by about 10CM smug-bollocks goes to walk in and says "Excuse me gents, could you move behind the line please?" now the entrance was literally 20ft wide so he had no chance of coming near us.The best bit was he almost brushed against the other assistant! Some people are going to miss being a social distance Nazi

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