I just have this image in my mind of Boris spewing all this shite to a load of elderly, wizzened, greying Torygraph readers which is met with positive grunts and 'Hear, hear's

- Tax cuts if you earn less than £80k to help nurses who earn £65k.
- No-deal Brexit (doesn't actually matter what he actually said or didn't say, they just heard 'No-deal' and applauded). Pass the port, Timothy.
- Withhold the £39billion divorce payment until we have a deal we're happy with. More applause and more brandy

...and while it may sound naive and simplistic, I genuinely worry that those elderly, wizzened, greying Torygraph readers will constitute the majority of those voting for the next Tory leader.

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- Brexit may signal the end of the Troy party as we know it.

'Oh good Lord above. That simply must never allowed to happen. Pass the Glenfiddich, Jeremy'.

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A pull quote from an article I liked a few weeks back.

"Rory Stewart is certainly to be commended for an absolute refusal to admit that the target voter in this particular election is a 73-year-old woman from Beaconsfield who wants to bring back hanging and describes Aids as “nature’s way”"

@rpcutts For all my name-calling earlier, I think Woderwick Stewart is the only sensible candidate. Sadly, he has less chance than Manchester United of winning the League next season but still...

@rpcutts ....BUT IT'S SO TRANSPARENT AND OBVIOUS ! I don't grok politics but for feck's sake.

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