I just have this image in my mind of Boris spewing all this shite to a load of elderly, wizzened, greying Torygraph readers which is met with positive grunts and 'Hear, hear's

- Tax cuts if you earn less than £80k to help nurses who earn £65k.
- No-deal Brexit (doesn't actually matter what he actually said or didn't say, they just heard 'No-deal' and applauded). Pass the port, Timothy.
- Withhold the £39billion divorce payment until we have a deal we're happy with. More applause and more brandy

...and while it may sound naive and simplistic, I genuinely worry that those elderly, wizzened, greying Torygraph readers will constitute the majority of those voting for the next Tory leader.

- Brexit may signal the end of the Troy party as we know it.

'Oh good Lord above. That simply must never allowed to happen. Pass the Glenfiddich, Jeremy'.

A pull quote from an article I liked a few weeks back.

"Rory Stewart is certainly to be commended for an absolute refusal to admit that the target voter in this particular election is a 73-year-old woman from Beaconsfield who wants to bring back hanging and describes Aids as “nature’s way”"

@rpcutts For all my name-calling earlier, I think Woderwick Stewart is the only sensible candidate. Sadly, he has less chance than Manchester United of winning the League next season but still...

@rpcutts ....BUT IT'S SO TRANSPARENT AND OBVIOUS ! I don't grok politics but for feck's sake.

@andyc @rpcutts Go with a flat income tax rate of a single fixed percentage. Utah came up with the firing squad innovation for the death penalty here that we might all end up adopting here if we cannot continue with lethal injection thanks to EU meddling in US affairs. If you see those things show up UK-side, either the Duchess of Sussex is meddling or there are US agents running amok.

@alpacaherder @rpcutts I don't know why I keep getting dragged back into politics. You can't change anything and no matter who you vote for the Government always get in.

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