You’re walking down the street a little later than you should. You hear steps behind you, so you take off running. The pursuer stays on your tail, never dropping the scent, despite a slower pace. You get to your door and fumble with your key. The malefactor approaches.
As the pursuer turns the corner, you read their shirt. “Navient student loan servicing: we enhance student success”
It really is true. Taxes, Death, Navient; these things come for all of us.